


Witch Perfect

by ShinyHokage



Series: Diakko: Movies Reimagined [2]
Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Pitch Perfect Fusion, Drama & Romance, F/F, Fluff and Crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26864398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinyHokage/pseuds/ShinyHokage
Summary: “Butch Amanda.”Diana blinked in surprise. “You call yourself Butch Amanda?”“Yeah, so femme witches like you don’t do it behind my back.”Luna Nova University freshman Akko Kagari has two goals.1) Become a famous singer like Chariot2) Don't flunk out of business school and disappoint my dadJoining the Luna Lovelies acapella group didn't fall under either of those categories, and yet Akko finds herself almost immediately pulled in.It's Pitch Perfect but LWA because October is now my movies reimagined month
Relationships: Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari
Series: Diakko: Movies Reimagined [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1959778
Comments: 5
Kudos: 27





	Witch Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> Akko's introduction to Luna Nova University and the events leading up to her becoming a Luna Lovely.  
> ... With Amanda as the parody Fat Amy stealing the show.

“Hey, Akko, do you still want to come to Clubfest with us?” Akko looked up from her laptop to see one of her new roommates, Lotte Yanson, smiling down at her from the top bunk. Akko had been chewing on her lower lip as she scrolled down the least exciting webpage in the history of the internet – Luna Nova University’s School of Business. Yuck. The eighteen-year-old college freshman wanted nothing more than to follow in the footsteps of Luna Nova’s alumna, Chariot du Nord, and major in Voice and Opera. 

Her family had other plans laid out from the day she was born. 

“Ugh.” Akko flopped back onto her twin bed and ran her hands through her straight brown hair. “You know I want to, but it’s been an hour and I still haven’t gotten past how awful the cover photo for their website is. It’s like they picked the most generic looking students they could find, who probably woulda hopped at the opportunity, but then they drained the life out of their eyes through hours of setup. Or maybe that’s just how business students look. How I’ll look…”

Their final roommate, Sucy Manbavaran, threw a suspiciously wet clump of paper at Akko’s face. 

“You’re going to whine all week about missing it if you don’t come, so you’re coming. I don’t deal with whining babies. After all I am my twin in the womb.”

_Day three and, honestly, not the weirdest thing she’s said._

“Fine… what time is it again?” Akko asked as she wiped the paper off her cheek and told herself it was just spit. _Just_ spit? What had her life come to? 

“It started half an hour ago,” Sucy deadpanned.

Akko and Lotte sprung into action, racing across the vast (six-foot) expanse of their room. Which dresser was Akko’s again? She stumbled over a box labelled ‘Previous Test Subjects’ which, nope, not going there right now, and latched onto the first outfit that she confirmed as her own. A white t-shirt, orange jacket with her high-school swim team’s shark logo on the back, red shorts, and a pair of white sneakers. Sucy and Lotte joined Akko at the front of their room as the brunette admired her style in their single mirror. The pink-haired girl wore her usual ankle-length black dress with a white collar – to each their own – and Akko’s bespectacled roomie had on a white sweater and navy-blue skirt. Oh yeah, Akko thought they looked the perfect trio.   
She threw one last self-satisfied glance in the mirror before swinging the door to their room open. 

“These clubs are gonna be begging us to join!” 

So, here’s the thing about universities with 20,000 undergrads, they’re big. Very big. A big that Akko hadn’t fully considered, and most likely wouldn’t have until the class of 2025 photo scheduled for tomorrow at the football stadium. But here she was at Clubfest, and the masses were unavoidable. 

The first table to greet them was the… Virtual Reality Renaissance. Alright, could be fun and…

“Find your friends for life. Because virtual people can’t leave or die!”

And double nope.

“They have a poster for _Chariot Effect: Milky Way_.” Sucy pointed to the cutout of Shiny Chariot in a futuristic astronaut suit fighting off alien invaders. Akko sighed, her friend obviously lacked her own ingenuity when it came to common sense and social situations. 

“I’m not here to join anything culty.” Akko dragged Sucy away and led her friends further onto the quad. “I just want something relaxing and fun to take my mind off business, uh... cards and phone calls and staplers in jell-o and whatever they do. Besides, there’re tons of clubs to check out before we commit to anything.”

Sucy raised an eyebrow and yanked her arm free. “We?”

“Akko’s right, there are lots of options. And since we’re different majors I think it’d be wonderful to have something to do together as roommates,” Lotte chimed in. 

This year’s Clubfest was set up on the Harold A. Bingalion Quad, or as their RA called it, the Bingalee quad. Akko almost felt bad for the grass, barely a blade poked through under the hundreds of pairs of feet rushing back and forth; official paths and sidewalks had lasted a grand total of two minutes. Even with all the room the green surrounded by red brick halls offered, Akko found herself constantly being shoved and elbowed. A particularly rough passersby sent her reeling into a green-eyed girl with short, orange hair who was too busy picking at dirt under her nails to notice anyone around her. Or prepare for an impromptu tackle.

Dirty-nails girl and Akko slammed to the ground next to three pairs of matching pink adidas. 

“Hi!” A girl with auburn hair held back in a ponytail reached down to help Akko up. “Are you interested in joining the Luna Lovelies?”  
Pink shoes, pink shorts, white shirts – Akko was gonna change hers the first second she got a chance – and pink bomber jackets. Beside a table with a pink tablecloth and pink poster with pink glitter and… ah, it was too much. Akko took the hand and smiled, her eyes sweeping over the three girls manning it. Auburn ponytail, wavy blonde, and black with bangs. 

“The, eh, what?” Akko asked. 

The blonde straightened her already stiff posture and focused her light blue eyes on Akko. Was she about to give a speech…? “Good evening. I am Diana Cavendish, president of the Luna Lovelies. We are Luna Nova University’s foremost acapella institution and-“

“Institution?” Dirty-nails snickered. “Calm down, you’re a club that sings without instruments. Anyone can do that.”

“Aca-scuse me? Our craft is a time-honored tradition that I will not stand by and allow you to-“

“So you can do it?” Hannah interrupted, much to Diana’s eye-twitching chagrin. “Acapella? We’re looking for new members after…” Her hazel eyes flicked to Diana nervously and she cleared her throat. “We have a sign-up sheet! What’s your name?”

“Butch Amanda.”

Diana blinked in surprise. “You call yourself Butch Amanda?”

“Yeah, so femme witches like you don’t do it behind my back.”

“I see… well if you’re not interested-“ The Luna Lovelies president was interrupted for the third time in a row by Butch Amanda snatching the signup sheet and scribbling her contact info. “Oh, how gracious of you.”

Akko, who had been trying in vain to process the conversation, started when it was thrust at her next. “Oh, I, eh, I don’t know.”

Bangs scoffed. “If you don’t know then that’s already a sign you’re not Lovely material. We require no less than 100%.”

“C’mon Barbs, we were all uncertain freshmen once upon a time,” Hannah chastised before fluttering the paper at Akko again. “You’ll never know for sure if you don’t try.”

_Become a famous pop singer like Chariot and try not to flunk in Business school… yeah, acapella doesn’t fit either of those._

“Sorry, it’s just… I’m new and this is kinda a lot,” Akko muttered with a gesture to the matching outfits. “But it was really cool meeting you guys!”

“I assure you that I am not a ‘guy’,” Diana grumbled as Akko twirled on her heels and weaved back into the crowd to find her roommates. 

“I think she made new friends,” Sucy’s voice sounded from the right and Akko squeezed past one last burly football bro to find her roomies sitting under a chestnut tree. The brunette plopped down   
between them and kicked her feet against the ground. 

“Well?” Lotte prodded.

“Definitely not,” Akko huffed, “but whatever that was gave me the idea to find a normal singer’s club! I wonder if Chariot joined one…”

The day wasn’t over yet, she still had time to salvage some fun!

\---

Whenever Akko found a day to be borderline stress-topia, she took a warm shower and ate Extra Toasty Cheez-iots. And wow had today been one of those days, but the Cheez-iots would have to wait. 

The metal knob screeched as Akko turned it towards the red ‘H’, she could feel the rust grating against the movement and crossed her fingers that it’d be another use without said rust coming out of the   
showerhead. 

It turned out that Luna Nova University did have a normal singer club, the Charioteers. It also turned out that they only recruited based on years of previous vetting and basically if Akko had ever wanted to stand a chance, she would’ve needed to be something called a ‘legacy’ or to have started her application when she was six. Needless to say, she hadn’t fulfilled either of those requirements. 

Yeah, a warm shower and some fake cheese crackers that she totally hadn’t rushed to the campus store to buy after watching a girl in her Intro to Econ class order them in bulk on Amazon _during_ lecture. That was an influence Lotte argued Akko didn’t need. Akko thought it was a fantastic example of time management and budgeting. Hey, if she were being forced to learn these terms it would be on her own… terms. Yeah. 

There was no rust water today. 

As her mind tumbled down a rabbit hole of more and more self-doubt and worries about the future, Akko turned to her third source of calm: Chariot songs. _Meridian_. Raw emotion, voice-cracking notes, lyrics that made just enough sense without losing their mystique; _Meridian_ was her favorite. The song flowed from her mouth without effort, a result of years of singing it in her room, on the way home from school, and in the basement at 3am so her parents wouldn’t hear. 

Akko never got to finish her song. The curtain connecting her shower to the one beside it crinkled and was yanked open; Hannah and Barbara gaped at Akko, Akko gaped at them, and then screamed. 

“Ever heard of knocking?” She twirled her own shower curtain around her and crossed her arms at the girls. 

“I mean, it’s plastic, so we can’t really knock,” Barbara pointed out. 

“Not important Barbara.” Hannah dismissed her with a wave and grinned at Akko. Neither of them made a move to mirror Akko’s bashfulness, which made her blush even more as she concentrated on keeping her eyes above their necks. Heart attacks were not a part of calming showers. “That was Meridian right? That song is my jam. My lady jam.”

“Eh?”

“You’ve got a great voice, uh, you! You absolutely have have _have_ to join the Luna Lovelies!” Hannah placed her hands on her hips to emphasize her point… and above the neck did not work out. Akko came down with a coughing fit. “Oh! Yeah, I’m pretty confident about… all of this.” She added with a wink to Barbara. 

Akko turned to face the tile wall. “That’s cool, I mean, yeah. You’re, yeah. I, uh, I’ll think it over, ok!”

A pair of warm hands grasped Akko’s forearms and spun her face-to-face with Hannah. “You aca-absolutely have to join! I won’t accept missing out on your talent!”

_There’s really no way I’m getting out of this, is there? Mou, what is this? When did my life become a college comedy? And why are they… they’re showering together? That’s a nice way to conserve water during a drought. Wait, yeah, no way out._

“Ok!” Akko blurted; word pace having caught up to her raving pulse. “Also, I’m Atsuko. Kagari. Call me Akko.”

Hannah let go and stepped back. “Fantabulous Akko! We’ll let Diana know there’s a shining star joining our ranks.”

Concerns over maybe having joined a cult – but really, they couldn’t be that intense, it was just acapella – melted away at the mention of the blonde leader and Akko’s relief that not all members of the   
Luna Lovelies had been present. 

The shower pipes squealed, and Akko realized she’d run out of warm water. 

And that she’d had her fill of showers for the foreseeable future. 

\---

In the months to come, Akko’s fellow Luna Lovelies would describe her performance as… inspired. 

“I don’t think we’re allowed to use props.” _Lotte’s always worrying, like some kind of worrier._

Akko threw Lotte her patented double thumbs up and toothy grin. “Acapella is art, right? Well, I’m an artist in more ways than one. Trust me, it’s gonna be amazing.”

The double-artist finished securing her makeshift giant disco ball to the wall behind the stage curtain. After a solid ten minutes convincing the Finnish girl to tryout, a solid ten hours convincing Sucy, and another hour or so waiting to ambush Hannah when she was away from the clearly stuck-up Diana, the roommates were finally on the brink of joining a club together. And despite Akko’s initial misgivings, the tryouts had left her feeling more pumped up than she had since grade-school talent shows. The fact that grade-school was the last time she’d expressed her more vibrant side in a public setting might’ve had something to do with it, but Akko wasn’t studying psychology. 

Or art for that matter. 

Sucy poked one of the many shards of glass glued to the plastic sphere, eyes fixed on the wire that poked through the hole in the top and dangled a LED strobe light inside. Yeah, not an art major, but with only two days to prepare, Akko felt sure felt like one. 

“Can I have your hair when you die?” Sucy drew pack her bloody fingertip and wiped it on her black dress. “It makes for a great reagent.”

Akko glared at her. “Chariot performed way more dangerous stunts to become number one, this is just the start!”

“You’re a beautiful singer Akko. I’m sure you’ll make it without… props,” Lotte attempted to reason with her. And in a world without untimely interruptions, she might’s stood a chance. 

“… Thank you for your performance, you’ll be hearing from us by the end of the week.” Diana’s authoritative tone called their attention from beyond the scarlet curtains. “The final tryout for today is… Atsuko Kagari.”

Akko lifted the makeshift sledgehammer from the floor and leapt onto the disco ball, freeing it of its restraints through the addition of her weight. She’d had enough foresight to not glue glass onto the part for sitting – take that Lotte and Sucy. The ball swung forward and missed scraping the hardwood stage floor by barely an inch. Never one to pass up on theatrics, Akko leaned to the side and dragged the sledgehammer beside her, leaving scuff marks and a suspenseful scraping sound in her wake. 

She was ready to see the looks on those pink-obsessed-shower-intruders’ faces. By her calculations, the ball wouldn’t hit them in the front row. Probably. Maybe. That was showbiz. 

And there wasn’t a second to waste. “We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain...”

Time felt as if it hung on her every syllable. Did Chariot get this rush before her shows? Akko could get used to it.

Akko poured her heart into the chorus as she broke through the curtain. “I came in like a wrecking balllllll!”

If there was a single comfort to take away from the ensuing events, it was that Hannah looked enraptured. “Yes! You go Akko!”

“What is the meaning of this? I did not approve any props.” Akko winked at the bewildered Diana and continued her song. The president’s bewilderment increased when everyone realized the front row seats were higher than Akko had expected; Diana dove to the side as Akko’s unintended weapon flew past the edge of the stage and slowed to a stop just below the ceiling. 

“… I put you high up in the sky.” She swung the sledgehammer forward and used its momentum to spin herself to face the floor. And a pair of infuriated blue eyes. 

“Atsuko Kagari, get down this instant!”

“And now, you’re not coming down.” Akko sang on as the ball began its descent. “It slowly turned, you let me burn.” _Business, art, and a third major in survival_ , Akko’s last coherent thought before her wrecking ball’s rope snapped. No way she was letting a rope get the last word, or sound, in her act. “And now, we’re ashes on the ground.” 

The ground that she rushed to meet. 

Akko screwed her eyes shut, prepared to meet her doom. There were worse ways to go out than falling from a disco-ball during college acapella tryouts. 

Right?

Fortunately, she never had to answer that question. Instead of the floor, she collided with a remarkably soft surface. Akko opened her eyes and stared into a much closer, much more infuriated blue. The president of the Luna Lovelies had cushioned her fall, saved her life probably, and cowls and glares aside, she thought Diana was gorgeous, annoyingly so. And Akko knew just what to do when it came to classically beautiful girls’ fury. She had experience pissing off the prim and proper after all. 

“Don’t you ever say I just walked away. I will always want you!” She belted a final two lines straight into Diana’s face and beamed. “So, how’d I do?”

Diana shoved her off. 

“Never in my time on this Earth have I met someone so reckless, so selfish, so incredibly… You did not ‘do’ well, Miss Kagari.” The blonde stood and brushed her clothes off, an attempt to hide the shaking of her hands. “I have half a mind to approach the Dean regarding this matter and request your immediate expulsion.” 

“Guess you’re not a Smiley Cyrus then…” Akko muttered.

The blonde opened her mouth to continue her tirade, but Barbara tapped her shoulder and pointed behind them. At the never-ending pile of broken glass. And frayed wires. And how had Akko ever decided to sit on that?

Hannah took their leader’s silence as her chance to speak up. “I thought it was beautiful and… inspired! Wrecking ball aside, you can’t deny Akko’s talent, and we need-“

“We require nothing,” Diana cut her off, clenched jaw betraying her otherwise composed air. “The Luna Lovelies will overcome adversity without stooping to the level of childish antics.”

“You think you’re so perfect with your perfect hair and perfect face and grass-stain-free white shoes, but I watched you bomb finals last year.” Akko crossed her arms and smirked at the resounding gasp.   
“Antics are just the thing your outdated sets need.”

“Being a Lovely is about more than talent, it’s about creating a life-long bond. Creating trust. I cannot in good conscience accept into our fold someone who blatantly insults and endangers us.”

Akko flinched at Diana’s point. Since when did she actually want to join this group anyways? This was just to get those shower creepers off her back. But singing transported her to a separate reality, a dream world where Akko could be who she wanted and act how she wanted. With consequences of endangering random students instead of letting down her parents… ah. 

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean for the disco ball to get out of hand. I just really want to spark wonder, to be a star like Chariot. And I’m never going to be able to do that in my business lectures. I-I didn’t mean to drag you all into my wish. I’m sorry.”

Diana broke their glaring eye contact and shifted her gaze to the floor. The girls stood in silence for a tortuous infinity lasting a few seconds. 

“Conditional acceptance,” she sighed. “You may join our ranks on the condition that you will consult with me before enacting any further… wishes.”

Akko’s heart skipped a beat and she rushed forward, pulling the three Lovelies into a bearhug. 

“You won’t regret it!”

Two out of three girls hugged her back before the third continued. “Initiation is Friday night at 10pm in the eastern gym. Tardiness it unbefitting a Lovely.”

_A Lovely. I’m gonna be a Lovely… is there a way to change it to a cooler name like the Kagaris? Nah, Lovely is fine. It’s just for a fun freshman year anyway._

**Author's Note:**

> Originally planned for a one-shot but wow there's a lot of content in this movie


End file.
